Cock-a-doodle-do

I am not a foodie. Who is a foodie though? I am what they call and by ‘they’ I mean ‘I’ …eerm survival eaters. I eat to live, I eat because I am hungry and /or there is food. As a matter of fact, I do not give a hoot about which new restaurant opened, the chef’s prowess in picking ingredients or the preparation process of a Filet Mignon(just a heads up, never ask me to pronounce that if you do not want to meet Angel Gabs). But you people. WAIT, WHAT?? “YOU PEOPLE”. WHAT IS HAPPENING. In my post, Dear Younger Self I had mentioned how my profession allows me to meet all sorts of human representations. Well, I worked for nearly three months on the road, county to county, with a man who kept on referring to our team as “you people”.  I had a collection of facial expressions for that period my face hurt…haha. To this day, I do not understand why I was frustrated and angry but can you imagine not being addressed to by a name or some name for 3 freaking months.

Anyway,  if I may. YOU PEOPLE that keep on asking why I am not in a relationship or when I am going to get married I have news for you…I am married. I got married today – Yes  I did. And I have witnesses; the internet, the IP address of my client…I hope he never stumbles on here, my like and comment on wemenshouldcook blog (you guys should visit that blog, I do not know him personally but I know his chicken – the raw uncut version and the dressed one which I am yet to explore). I would like to send my apologies for the short notice or the lack thereof and to applaud myself for not wasting your time to attend my ceremony. You are welcome.

I had missed this space and I am glad to be back with my new status. I promise that I will not make any promises this time and with that I leave you this gem!

I make no promises, I can’t do golden rings
But I’ll give you everything (Tonight)
Magic is in the air, there ain’t no science here
So come get your everything (Tonight)
I make no promises, I can’t do golden rings
But I’ll give you everything (Tonight)
Magic is in the air, there ain’t no science here
So come get your everything (Tonight)

Love, Lemony Grilled Chicken Married J

Advertisements

She’s DEAD!

Are you those people that name your favorite things by your favorite things.

Among my all time favorite band is the LUMINEERS. And just like their name they bring light to my life – LITERARY.  I love them. I do not play their music as much as I should but they are very close to my heart. Ooh and did I mention that I love them ? Yes, I adore them to a point I thought about buying a ukulele (use google pronunciation for that please – It would really mean a shit load if it’s pronounced right). In one of their albums – Cleopatra there is a song but this is not just a song. It is my light at the end of the tunnel even when it is dark . It fills the void in my doughnut hole. It is OPHELIA!

ANYWAY, for more ramblings on my favorite band visit my phone number and I promise to discuss more.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of my phone – OPHELIA whose life with me was suddenly brought to halt by a Nairobi thief yesterday morning. I want to take a moment to remember the many selfies I took, the screenshots, the convenience of having my emails on the go, the white sleek hue that exuded class and cleanliness, the back that I never removed the paper since my love was bought (don’t judge me I wanted to make my darling, Ophelia feel new everyday), the numerous times you fell on my face but did not leave me with a dent and so many more that I would need three more blog posts to describe. Your demise was a big shock to me but I want to assure you that I did not cry but smiled.

I hope that your new love would be kind to you as I believe you will be. I hope they don’t remove your paper at the back. I hope they dont allow you to ever fall because I can no longer fly to catch.However, you need to promise me you will also not allow yourself to fall. I promise not to replace you quickly not only because of my undying love for you but because your replacement will need me to sell you thrice – Lets blame the pocket, Shall we?! With that said let give a well deserving send off…

Honey I love you, that’s all she wrote

Oh, Ophelia, you’ve been on my mind girl like a drug
Oh, Ophelia, heaven help a fool who falls in love

Oh, Ophelia, you’ve been on my mind girl since the flood
Oh, Ophelia, heaven help a fool who falls in love

Love J.

Last Call

Hi, why is it so silent.

I think of you every single day, I promise.

You are also featured in my 2018 resolutions.

I am writing my resolutions as I type this. And yes I do it every year because I take myself so seriously – its kinda a cliche to hybrideyesblog because every time I sit down to write some deadline comes up then I stop. I have a couple of drafts that will be posted next year. God willing.

Till then ….

Let your last call of 2017 be LIT*(I will probably regret using this word some day but…)!

Have yourselves a happy new year and God’s speed!

Love J.

 

 

 

Dear Younger Self

Sasa, Mtu Nguyaz (I died a little on the inside as I wrote that, I am not a short-form or slang kinda person. I once asked my mum how she would know I was kidnapped or my phone was stolen and her answer – how you message me). I hope you are fantastic if not bombastic and as cool as the sand on the seashore.

This is a letter to my 15-year-old self. I am a hundred percent sure that I would have started it like that. I’d like to think I was a cool kid and ‘sasa’ was cool folks and the hope (winks) ooooh yeah!! confirms it, right?

You won’t be top 10 in the country in your KCSE exams. No newspaper with your name on it or a swarm of journalists in your grandmothers compound. Not even a cake to celebrate that day. Nothing. Wait, Scratch that. You will lock yourself in a room and cry the entire whole day, have a headache and vow to repeat the exam. However, mama will hear none of it. She will work her ass off to ensure you don’t follow the status quo she had observed in the neighborhood – Pregnant and afraid. Have you guys watched ‘Naked and Afraid’ and the whole time you wondering what the producers aim to achieve. I am always stuck at; then what. It not like clothes will go extinct or be banned like plastic bags. Try watching the show just for the thrill of it though, then maybe we can form a book club. Which reminds me, Is there like a book club where people talk about tea. I would like an exposé on green tea.Damn you, Sohen Nagatani! You will not like green tea.

You won’t be married at 25. Instead you will wear heels higher than your goals which will make your feet numb every single time but you will never learn. However, you my dear self, you will be so proud of your age. You know how growing up ladies embraced the habit of not revealing their age like it was some kind of an abomination. Yes, that won’t affect you in fact you will so eager to say your age every time you introduced yourself. Weird, but you will love yourself for that every time. Just a heads up though, even at 26 you will still be non marié.

You will be an Auditor not a Journalist. You will hide behind Financial Statements and  Internal Controls. You will meet new people everyday. Some will fear you because you represent probe which results to change. Change is not palatable to some people hence snake tendencies will grow on you – brand new skin every now and then; THICK SKIN. Some will pamper you with tea, scones and a clean room for you to work in and others will not be so kind. But hey! Hiss all the way to the boardroom and give that true and fair view assurance report baby!

You will meet your dad and live with him and your new-found family. Yes, you are a big sister to four more beautiful kids. Remember in class four, when you were asked to write a composition about My Father and you did not know who it was. Then it hit you that children should have both parents. You went back home crying to shosho and she told you he died. Funny part was that she was so quick with the answer and very descriptive (aligong’wa na lorry akakufa), turns out she didn’t know him either. You grew up with that story that the first time you met him you thought is it was a well-wisher who wanted to pay your school fees. Haha…well, this experience will change you and your perception. You will want the tears you shed previously back but this bitter-lemony life will make lose more tears. And every time you will relate to Alicia Keys lyrics….We’re a blended family (for love), And it’s alright (for love), Said it’s alright!

YOU WILL LOVE WORDS. I guess that is why you are here now. Your interactions will be full of words. You express yourself in so many names and so many words. You will own more than five notebooks at ago and that it okay. If feel it, write it!

Remember how you would cover your mouth while laughing because you had big teeth as a child. Well, you eventually grow into your teeth and your smile will be your biggest asset. I will not exaggerate and say you will move mountains with it but hey, it makes people open up to you so basically that is a mountain moved!

You have conversations with God. More like you babble a lot and He just listens but it is the best conversations you will ever have. It is the only place you can sit still and have answers. Show emotion and no judgement is received. Ask for things and you receive beyond your wildest imaginations. But mostly, be comfortable in the most amazing way possible.

In all honesty, my dear. You grow up and learn that things don’t get better as you age but you become stronger. You are all about spreading positive vibes, smiling to strangers and crying a lot (what is a good laugh without shedding a tear once in a while).

Belt up and embrace every moment.

Love, Older J.

Visitor’s Broken Promise

I wanted to start by apologizing for abandoning my baby – this blog is that to me and I will make reference to it as so, buuuut I won’t. I read somewhere and by reading I mean its something I wrote, “for  sorry to be qualified as a genuine one you have to actually mean it” and frankly I don’t mean it right now since it was beyond my control; sorry not sorry.

I hate excuses as much as Sherlock Holmes hates coke and his long neck but this post will be full of justifiable justifications (grins)….okay, full of excuses.

I had a burn out and due to the nature of my work you tend to experience that more often than you anticipate. Speaking of work, growing up all I wanted to be or do was just wear a grey crisp pant suit. To my mind or was it the image that was presented by our black and white Great-wall TV, ladies who “made it” wore grey pant suits. Thinking of it now, this was weird since I lived with my grandparents and to them a dignified lady should not adorn trousers. I wore my first when I was thirteen a blue acid wash denim suit with 08 written on one side of the hem, and boy wasn’t  I among the coolest kids in our neighborhood. That Christmas was LIT! When I went back to my grandparents, I left the pants back at my mum’s place since I felt embarrassed to wear them in front of my grandparents. Few years passed by and they bought me several so the dream of a grey suit was still alive. To this date I don’t have a grey suit and I have no clue of what this means to my childhood dream yet.

Another reason for the ceding is that, I got heartbroken by events and people…….do you now see why I am not sorry. Yeah just when you begin  the other quarter century of you life, suddenly life affords you the maturity you should take up so generously. I would like to explore this experience further but just as I am a late bloomer turns out I take centuries to heal. However, I promise that this is a tale for another day when I have had a good glass of wine and zuku backs me up.

May the good Lord replenish my literary juices as I am happy to be back with snippets from my life. Long live BABY!!

Love, J

 

MEET AND GREET

You don’t look Kikuyu. What are you really? You are so dark, how are you Kikuyu? Speak some Kikuyu so that we can confirm that, that is really your name.Your legs are so not Kikuyu(giggles–thank God). Are you sure you are not Luhya?…..and a whole load of  inconceivable tribal backlash if you are from Kenya you know what I mean.

That was/is my reality every time I introduce myself.I would roll my eyes every time or shake my head, specifically because I did not know what that meant and it sounds gibberish.I have four names and my fourth name will explain the remarks on my first impression on people hence the name of the blog-hybrid. We will pursue this further as we continue to get to know one another.

Where are my manners? Hi, welcome to my blog – hybrideyesblog.wordpress.com. I am also new here and the echo is equally loud.I have wanted to start a blog since forever but I did not have the courage to do so. However, when I turned 26 last month I discovered that I have accustomed my skin to receive all opinions with regards to my writing.

I intend to be candid and future blog posts will be as diverse as they can be.

Thanks and stay safe.

Please subscribe and share to friends and family.

Love J.